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The Bank

From Dook & Flops Wiki

The Bank is a cold, bureaucratic fortress of paperwork and procedural despair nestled in the heart of Sala City. Though it appears to be just another financial institution, the building itself radiates an oppressive stillness—like a place where optimism goes to die. It's staffed by at least one frog and several clipboards, and serves as both a setting for rejections and a symbol of procedural absurdity.

Overview

Atmosphere

  • Quiet and Soul-Crushing: The lobby is so silent you can hear your motivation leaving.
  • Unwelcoming by Design: The walls are painted a shade of gray specifically designed to discourage small talk.
  • Overly Structured: Lines are taped onto the floor in confusing zigzags. Most lead to locked doors labeled "Temporary Processing Overflow Unit – Closed."

Notable Features

  • Reception Desk: Manned by The Bank Frog, who delivers policy-based disappointment with clinical precision.
  • Customer Waiting Area: Equipped with stiff plastic chairs, a non-functioning ticket machine, and a looped instructional video featuring dated animations and the phrase “as per subsection 14-B” repeated endlessly.
  • Loan Office: A locked room. No one has ever seen it open.
  • Back Hallways: May or may not be infinite. Some say they lead to the vault, others claim they lead to early retirement.

Banking Services

  • Account Management: Mostly account closure management.
  • Loan Applications: Available in 27-page formats and “expedited” 22-page formats. Denied regardless.
  • Safe Deposit Boxes: Accessible only during “non-temporal hours” or with approval from an unnamed manager who hasn’t been seen since 2007.
  • Check Cashing: Checks must be signed in triplicate and accompanied by a ceremonial sigh.

Trivia

  • The air conditioning is always set to “passive-aggressive.”
  • Has a strict dress code for customers, though it’s never published.
  • There’s a pen on a chain at the counter. It does not write.
  • A customer once entered with confidence and was never seen again, though their voicemail still replies with “Please hold.”
  • The frog at the desk once rejected a transaction for being “philosophically insolvent.”

“Please take a number. And leave your expectations behind.” — The Bank